Why Asking for the Sale Is the Worst Move You Can Make | Paul Ross

I never asked for the order and I train my teams, whoever I'm training, never to ask for the order, but first, seed the prospect subconscious mind so they've already convinced themselves to buy. Rather than asking for the order, you're extending the opportunity for them to complete the decision. They've already made in the subconscious level. This is right about now with Ryan Alford, a Radcast Network production. We are the number one business show on the planet with over 1 million downloads a month. Taking the BS out of business for over six years and over 400 episodes. You ready to start snapping necks and caching checks? Well, it starts right about now. What if everything you've been taught about sales is backwards? Today's guess went from being the founder of the worldwide pickup and seduction community to being an elite subconscious sales trainer for Fortune 500 sales teams. Along the way, he learned why rapport is overrated, why most people are selling to the wrong part of the brain and how to close deals in a single day that usually took him off. This episode is probably going to piss off a lot of sales trainers. I hope. That's exactly why I wanted to have him on. Paul Ross, welcome, thread about now. Thanks for having me on the show. As much as a vamarketer I am. I don't ask for the order enough. I always say to my wife, just ask for the order, baby. What do you want to happen? I never ask for the order and I train my teams, whoever I'm training, never to ask for the order. But first, seed the prospect subconscious mind so they've already convinced themselves to buy. Rather than asking for the order, you're extending the opportunity for them to complete the decision. They've already made in the subconscious level. My way of looking at sales is completely off the wall. I only work with people who are unconventional thinkers and want something that disconnects the dots, colors outside the lines and thinks outside the box. This whole show was built on being outside the box of your traditional business show. And go figure we've been number one on Apple for four years running. Sometimes unconventional works. I want to talk about from seduction to the boardroom, you have one of the more unconventional paths into sales training that I've ever heard. When I was a young man, I could not get a woman in a woman's prison with a fist full of pardons. I was involuntary celibate. I tried everything, I tried prayer, you name it, propitiation to the gods, you name it. And then I stumbled on something called NLP Nurelinguistic Programming. It's a way of structuring your language so you get people to make decisions and create emotional states on the subconscious level. I began to apply that to my personal issues and I began to become attractive to women, got girlfriends, got into some very nice relationships. And about 15 years into that long career, I started getting emails from students who said here's pictures of my kids because of you I've found a family and by the way, I'm in sales and business and I've used your techniques and sales. I sales them going up I 300% or sometimes the numbers were lesser and I thought, holy shit, I'm asked why didn't you think of that? I went into my mad scientist language lab for a year and mapped it all over. And then I began taking on any client I could just to hone and perfect the process. That's a very condensed version of a long, very twisted story. What skills carried over surprisingly well from that psychology and to corporate sales? I used to do corporate and now I work with smaller teams. The challenge I found with big corporations is there's a lot of politics involved and you have to bump things up to chain. I don't need the money anymore. I love money but I'd rather help people who have smaller teams. Maybe it's just sales as a whole. Probably more familiar than most within LP. I have a lot of friends that are practitioners, coaches, etc. I was just curious at least from your seduction psychology what skills carried over into sales. The first thing is learning to create states of intense focus. Here's a lesson and if you take nothing away other than this, ladies and gentlemen, this is crucial. The currency of all influence persuasion, seduction, sales is focus. If you can't get the other person to focus, then I don't care what your offer is. I don't care how you present it, what the benefits are. People nowadays because of these things and everything they receive on them and be honest with yourself, ladies and gentlemen. How many times have you scrolled through your phone? They have the approximate focus of the skida. You no longer have the 10, 15, 20 minutes to use the old report techniques. The first thing I learned is I have to get a woman to focus in on me. The second thing I learned is engineering emotional states. They're talking about what I do for living or what she does for living or fact-based conversation doesn't really do it. I had to learn how to structure emotions, focus, fascination, a feeling of intense connection, desire, arousal, and I found that you do that by language. You do it by intent, but you do it by language. To get fancy schmancy about it and nerdy language structures, consciousness shapes decisions and most importantly drives behavior. I had to learn how to structure my communication in a way that gets past the conscious filters and into the subconscious. We know that the most important decisions are made emotionally and emotional decisions are generated on the subconscious level. Ryan, did you ever just find yourself falling in love? Yeah, I've been known to fall in love a couple times. All right. Was that really a fact-check? Fact-based decision. Or was it something that just came upon you, you just found it happened? And later you came up with justifications and reasons and checked the person against your value system, etc., etc. Yeah, I think a definitely emotional feeling-based then more than practical. Right, and those arise from the subconscious. Now oftentimes they're based on traumatic memories, that kind of stuff. Can you see the connection? And also, if you think about a date is kind of a sale, you have to get rapport. You have to do your qualification. You have to do your trial closes. You have to overcome objections. And then if you're lucky, you get returns. And you get repeat performances. And you even get referrals. I come from outside traditional sales. I can see things that are other people in the field cannot see. And I can also see what's in mythology or what used to work, but no longer works. And part of the people I work with, the big portion of who I work with, are people who are already in the top 20% of their sales field. Listen now, ladies and gentlemen, you hit a ceiling. You're grinding harder, you're pushing harder, but you're barely moving that needle and you're getting exhausted. Your team is getting exhausted. And you think by pushing harder on the old stuff, you're going to start making exponential leaps. But you can't. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten. You need to do something radically different. That's outside of the box and a little bit crazy. When I screen people, I genuinely really, of course, screened for their ability to invest. But also, are they willing to take on a nutty mindset, a mindset that goes, okay, this seems a little batshit, but I'm going to take it on. I sort of made my way in marketing with my own intuition and going left when people were right. Marketing and sales sorted together. You're trying to get someone to take an action to move them from point A to point D or point C and how you get in there. Hey guys, if you've ever built a website before, you know how quickly it can turn into a time suck. Recently, I've been playing around with Wix's new hybrid editor called Wix Harmony. You basically start by telling it what you're trying to build. You prompt it to generate a professional grade site just like you want it. And here's the part I like. You can easily go back and forth between AI and hands-on editing whenever you want. The AI agent ARIA is an expert in website design and business. You can answer questions or perform direct actions throughout the process, which has been huge for me when I'm trying to perfect the look of my website. We've also got built-in tools for selling, bookings, and marketing. Pretty much all the stuff you actually need once the site's live. If you're building anything right now, a site project, brand, business, whatever, Wix Harmony honestly makes it easier to get out of your own way and start making stuff happen. Go to wix.com, backslashharmony. That's wix.com, backslashharmony. Start your website today. What is that sales languaging that moves the needle? Your prospect has to trust you, but they no longer trust themselves to make a good decision. How would we create that trust in themselves? Compliance with you that goes beyond rapport in a sense that you are their leader? If I was doing a sales presentation, in the digital ways, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Joe Schmo. Today, I'm going to be showing you how blah, blah, blah is going to create these benefits. I know you want your business who's excited, blah, blah, blah, blah. Instead, I use what I call implied relationship words. I would say before we is the first implied relationship, not I'm doing something to you. It's something we're doing together. Before we begin our, not before I do something to you. Before we begin our exploration, exploration is a very, very subtly hypnotic word. I'm going to tell you why. For every exploration, there must be starts with a little letter L, A, leader. And for every leader, there must be starts with a letter F. Followed exactly. So the minute they hear that word, the implication on the unconscious subconscious level is, oh, that's not just someone I trust, I am their follower. And followers are not a matter of rapport. They have trust, but they also comply. Because so they don't comply, they get into trouble. Before we begin our exploration, together, that's another implied relationship word. Can I please invite you, not ask you, can I invite you? To please share the questions, invite, share that naturally arise when a great decision is being made. Now, in a matter of two or three minutes, we've created states of trusting themselves, compliance with you, a beep unconscious subconscious sense that you are on the same side, the same team. So I teach, in the beginning, don't be clear. Don't use numbers, facts, data figures, be vague and suggestive in your language. People want to be led, even if people say they don't, they do. We all have insecurities, especially things that we might be buying or in a sales process for B2B, or I mean, even B2C, but probably a lot of B2B sellers listen to the show and people that probably work with you, Paul. And the people that are making these purchases want to be led to the right place and the right decision, even if they're authoritative in some ways. I wrote somewhere that inside of every seeming adult as a seven year old child who wants to be convinced, we are all pattern making machines. Ladies and gentlemen, when you were little children, I know something about you, even though I don't know you, you would lay on the grass and you would look up to the clouds and you would see patterns that weren't there. Animals, cars, whatever it was, we are pattern making machines. And so we need someone to reach into that part of our consciousness and lead us to see the patterns that we want them to see. Otherwise, what's gonna happen? They're gonna default into their fear, their hesitation, their distrust of you, and most importantly, their distrust of themselves. This is the one thing I've never heard any other sales trainer address. How do you get the prospect to trust themselves? Because if they don't trust, they can make a good decision. I don't care how good you are at your rapport, at your asking the right questions, wanting to be generally of service. If you can't get them to trust themselves, they're not gonna make a decision. It's not just that a confused mind makes no choices. A mind that doesn't trust itself runs from choices. You talk a lot about selling to the yes part of the brain versus the no part. What's maybe a small change people can make immediately to start selling to the yes part of the brain? How do you get the part of the brain that wants to be convinced? Convince itself to make the yes decision. I don't teach yes ladders, because yes ladders are why they work. Your prospect has heard it before and attack is identified as attack is disarmed. How would I get the prospect to convince themselves to buy? The first step is getting them to trust themselves. The second thing is to get them to see how what you have to offer, not just their needs, desires, dreams, hopes, but also matches on some level a vision they believe is possible for themselves. Here's the challenge. Most people don't believe that better is possible for themselves. So part of this art is getting your ideas into the prospect subconscious mind, but here's the waxed out thing. The other thing is about expanding their mind to include possibilities that they never saw before. Because your prospect not only doesn't trust themselves, they often don't believe they deserve to have what you have to offer. Particularly if it's around money. I think of that as mind expansion, increasing more opportunities or not necessarily reframing a yes or a no, but I think of expansion when I think of what you just said, which is actually learning maybe. Someone wants to ask me, can you make someone do something against their will using NLP or hypnosis? I said no, but you can expand the range of what it is they want beyond what they thought they wanted before. You can expand the range of what they thought was possible for themselves. You can expand the range of what they believe they can do. You can't do that consciously. I can't say, you know, Mr. Smith, and in a minute, I'm going to give you a suggestion that you will believe that you can do better, that you can have this opportunity, you can make more money. Ready, one, two, three, doesn't work that way. You have to imply it. You have to use the power of suggestion, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So to unpack that, if I were to give a suggestion, I would say as we're having this conversation together, I'm not sure all the ways you might feel an expanding sense of possibility, only as fast as that makes sense to you, but as that's taking place, please feel free to share any questions that naturally arise when a great decisions being made. Now the suggestion there was feel an expanding sense of possibility. Notice I didn't say sense of possibility. I said expanding sense of possibility, which means the more you talk, the more interested they're going to get, which is the opposite of what most people experience themselves. The longer you area on the conversation, the less the interest is. This is setting up a forward loop so that the longer you have the conversation, the more interested they get, which is again, totally paradoxical. And I realized that what I said, that level of suggestion, if you're not trained, is going to sound like gobbledygube, which is why I say to the people who choose to work with me, et cetera, et cetera. I don't want to get into promotion. It's not what I teach is powerful, but it takes a lot of work. It's like learning a second language. You have to put work into it. You won't be able to make entire sense out of it immediately, and it takes work to get to use it. Talk to me about ways the people can stay in touch with you. I have created something just for audience of your podcast. I call it my subconscious selling domination system. This is for people who are already doing very well. You're at the top 10 to 20% of what you're doing, but you hit that ceiling. What you're doing is barely moving in the needle. You're tired of pushing and grinding. It's got two components. The first is the instant trust quick start training. That's those six, seven words I went through, and I'm packing how to do them. It's like a seven minute video. Most people see results in their first conversations. Your prospects will lean in. They'll get into that state where they want to follow you and make decisions quicker. The second is what I normally only give my $25,000 VIP clients. I call it the subconscious selling conversion vault. These are private collection of all of my subconscious language patterns. The result of using these is your prospects. We'll convince themselves to buy, pay you more money, and feel good about it. If you want to get this, go to www.sellwithsuggestion.com. Forward slash right about now. I created only for the audience listeners to this podcast. And it's the only place you can get it. Oh, very generous of you. Hey guys, we appreciate you for listening. You were to find us. Ryan is right.com. You might just learn more about sales and different ways to do it. If you're looking for those things, for looking for those paths, you might just find them. We'll help you get there. See there, I practice what I preach. We appreciate Paul for coming on. We appreciate you for making us. Number one, see you next time. All right about now. This has been right about now with Ryan Alford, a Radcast Network production. Visit Ryanisright.com for full audio and video versions of the show or to inquire about sponsorship opportunities. Thanks for listening.