Authenticity Is Authority: How to Build Real Influence with Jen Gottieb

Everybody, even the biggest rock stars in the world have impostor syndrome because even the biggest people that Performed for years and years in front of millions of people would come backstage and they would be so nervous to go on and be Interviewed and they would come backstage and they would say to me, did I do okay? Was that good enough? I'm like, dude, you're slash. Are you asking me if you were good enough? Are you kidding? So it was a really nice reminder to me that people are people are people and like every time I get nervous or I feel like an Imposter or I feel not good enough everybody experiences that it's a human condition This is right about now with Ryan Alfred a Radcast Network production We are the number one business show on the planet with over one million downloads a month Taking the BS out of business for over six years and over four hundred episodes You ready to start snapping necks and caching checks? Well, it starts right about now Hey guys, what's up welcome to the latest edition of the Radcast I'm Ryan Alfred your host Excited today talking to another media person the famous woman She's a pretty lady, but she's a damn good business person talking to Jen got lead co-founder super connector media What's up, Jen? What's up, Ryan? I'm super excited to be here. Media has changed so much TVs changed and distractions and where media is on the smartphone and on social media But reflect on those vh1 days the vh1 thing really happened on accident I was an actress at a study musical theater in college and then I dropped out of college I moved to New York City to study musical theater at a two-year conservatory program immediately after studying at the school That I was at called the American Musical and Traumatic Academy I booked my dream role in the Broadway national tour of the wedding singer I played Linda the bitch that leaves Robbie Hart at the altar in the show. She's this lead afford want to be rock star She looks like a combination of Joan Jett and eighties Madonna like a virgin She's just this hilarious want to be rock star chick. I was on the road playing this character for a year And I get back from doing that and I see this audition for a sexy rocker chick and I'm like oh I could play that part. I could play that character. I know nothing about heavy metal music I know nothing about rock and roll But I'm like this is a gig. I'm an actress. I could go get this. I'm gonna go land this. I needed a job The night before the audition I googled everything there was to know about heavy metal learning all the band names I go in pretty much I felt like I bombed the audition because I kind of forgot all the things that I was memorizing They're like what kind of music do you like? I like everything from Beyonce to black Sabbath They could probably tell that I didn't know what the hell I was talking about at the end of the audition They're like oh Jen I noticed at the bottom of your resume It says that you do a great Britney Spears impersonation. So I'm like yeah, okay. I do They're like can we see your Britney and so I do my Britney Spears impersonation They're all laughing hysterically. It's like an uproar. Everyone finally is alive after being kind of bored with Makes I didn't know what I was talking about they call me two weeks later And they're like we want you to be in this box of junk on that metal show and I'm like really? They're like yes, you made everyone laugh your Britney Spears imitation got you the role That was the first moment in time when I learned that being my most authentic self is always what's going to get people to lean in and pay attention It wasn't that I knew everything about heavy metal music It was when I finally let myself shine that actually got me the gig I get this gig by being myself ironically, but I immediately reverted to I have to play this version of myself That wasn't me. I had to become heavy metal Jen. I wore super tight Spandex pants and I cut up all these rocker shirts and I pretended I like heavy metal music even though I didn't and before I knew it I had this big audience of all these metal guys that thought I was like this metal girl I have built this brand that was alive I got to meet all these huge rock stars one thing that I learned about people from this experience is that everybody Even the biggest rock stars in the world have imposter syndrome because even the biggest people that Performed for years and years in front of millions of people would come backstage And they would be so nervous to go on and be interviewed and they would come backstage And they would say to me did I do okay? Was that good enough? I'm like dude, you're slash Are you asking me if you were good enough? Are you kidding? So it was a really nice reminder to me that people are people are people and like every time I get nervous Or I feel like an imposter or feel not good enough everybody experiences that it's a human condition I lost myself along the way because I was playing a fake version of myself That couldn't have been further from who I really was and when the show ended I had to reinvent myself and start showing the world who I am and that was a big lesson in a lot of ways But I'm really grateful for the time. It was fun and it gives me a really amazing story to tell people People take it for granted that we all end up doing exactly what we plan to do Everything looks so planned and so cordial you being on that show and being the rocker chick and doing all those things all that But behind all that veil was here's a girl who has these aspirations and is trying to make the most of it And it's not exactly who she is from the outside looking in though It probably looked like you had everything going for it. Everything was perfect No one would have known that story or that instance at the time And I think people can take from that. Everybody's an original. People have such a hard time living to that Don't compare your real life to somebody else's highlight reel in social media Because what it looked like I was living the life and like all these photos with all these rock stars I was really out of alignment. I was really lost I was really depressed during that time because I was living alive And I was like having an argue internal argument with myself all the time. Who am I? I believe when you're out of alignment in your job you usually start to get out of alignment in your real life too It started all fall apart But publicly it looked great I think that people have a really big fear of being judged, of not being perfect, of not being good enough Because we spend a lot of time scrolling and comparing ourselves to other people's Highlight reels You're probably not looking at something that's completely real I hope for that person that it is completely real But a lot of the times we just share the great stuff And that's a okay because that's what social media is for But we need to remember that it's not all necessarily really what's going on behind the scenes We compare our chapter one to somebody else's chapter 20 Maybe we're just getting started, maybe someone watches you And they want to start a podcast and they see your huge podcast And then they start to think I can't do that Look at how great he is, look at how many listeners he has, how many downloads he has I could never get to that but what they didn't see Is you starting from square one, building it from scratch Having nobody listening to you, I'm sure from the first one And having to put the work in and the consistency And they didn't see that We need to remember that when we find ourselves comparing And fearing judgment and fearing being imperfect And fearing starting from the beginning Everybody starts somewhere Beyonce started from zero We all started from zero Did you knew you were going to be a singer or Broadway actress? I will never forget the moment that I knew I wanted to be on stage for the rest of my life I was in this children's touring company Where we'd get up and sing different Broadway musicals It was always my dream to be Annie I never got to be Annie in the actual show Every birthday wish I would blow up my candles and wish to be Annie I finally got the chance to sing one of the songs in a show Where we sang a lot of different Broadway songs It wasn't really Annie But I remember I was singing that song And I remember looking out into the audience And seeing my mom and my dad in the lights And singing Annie And I was just, there's nothing better than this This is what I want to do for the rest of my life Sometimes it's what you want But sometimes it's so much better than you could have even imagined Because what I always thought And even throughout my entire young adulthood auditioning for musicals I thought that my future was going to be Singing other people's songs Reading other people's lines Being in a show where I auditioned and waited for someone to pick me And that we're being on television Where I recited lines and played a part I didn't allow myself to really expand and say Well, maybe there's a different way to perform And I remember when I quit acting and I started building my business My parents said, Jenna, are you sure you want to quit your dream? I'm like, you guys, I'm not quitting my dream I know for sure that I'll end up back on stage I don't know how I don't know in what capacity But I'm going to end up back on stage And now that I'm a motivational speaker And I speak for a living and I teach And I get to use my own words And I get to pick myself Instead of waiting for someone else to pick me And I'm on stage having those same moments that I have when I was a kid But it's so much better and so much different I get to help people It's so freaking cool But I could have never envisioned that When I was stuck in looking just inside the box Of what it should be Being an actress I didn't allow myself to expand And now that I look backwards when I connect the dots I'm like, oh wow It was what I wanted But it's so much better Than I could have ever imagined then Hey guys If you've ever built a website before You know how quickly it can turn into a time suck Recently I've been playing around with Wix's new hybrid editor Called Wix Harmony You basically start by telling it what you're trying to build You prompt it to generate a professional great site Just like you want it And here's the part I like You can easily go back and forth between AI And hands-on editing whenever you want The AI Agent Arya is an expert in website design and business You can answer questions Or perform direct actions throughout the process Which has been huge for me When I'm trying to perfect the look of my website We've also got built-in tools for selling Bookings and marketing Pretty much all the stuff you actually need once the site's live If you're building anything right now A side-project brand, business, whatever Wix Harmony honestly makes it easier to get out of your own way And start making stuff happen Go to wix.com, backslashharmony That's wix.com, backslashharmony Start your website today What framed your business perspective? You're seeing your actors multi-talented, attractive What do you felt like molded you as the business person? It was really a lot of getting heard know I think that one of the most powerful tools That a successful entrepreneur can have Is resiliency And the ability to be persistent Even when you're getting heard know when you're getting rejected Many people, the second that they hear know Or they get rejected Or the thing that they want doesn't work They stop Or they just like, oh I guess this isn't for me I'll go grocery shopping today And forget it, I'm not going to try anymore I'm going to go binge Netflix Or do something else that makes me feel good Because I don't want to be rejected When I was an actress, I was a professional Auditioner I got rejected probably 10 times a day Like no, no, no, no So I got really, really, really good at hearing know And no doesn't bother me anymore As an entrepreneur when I was building my business I got heard know all the time I got on sales calls that I didn't close all the time But I was resilient and persistent And I didn't stop until I got the yes And I think that that was built inside of me From being an actress And he heard know again and again and again And being okay with that I think one of the most powerful tools That you can own While building a business Is being best friends with the word know And being besties with rejection And being like, oh you're rejecting me Or saying no to me Okay, cool, that's just going to motivate me To go for it again in another way And I'll show you I had that mindset building my business And so I never stopped Ever and I still don't ever stop And I get heard know still to this day All the time when I try to speak on big stages Or I'm trying to get to the next level in my business Or we fail at something Or I don't close a sale Or one of our launches doesn't go as well as we wanted it to I'm like, okay, watch me I'm going to do it again I'm going to learn from that know I'm going to take whatever I learned And I'm going to put it towards the next one And make it an even bigger yes That has framed my entrepreneurial journey in a big way You have to be just intrinsically driven To the next thing Or how I reframe a no to a yes You can grasp that enough If someone's trying to be an entrepreneur How important that is Overthinking that no until Because you just convince yourself that You're not good enough or you can't make it Like it's just you can't live in that space You can live in it for a few minutes I hope my pity party in a container Because you have to see your feelings Wait yourself out of your feelings Or they're going to show up in different ways And your family's going to hate you Because you're going to be resentful I'm pissed I'm going to grieve for the next hour Or I'm going to go for the rest of the day I can be pissed off But once I'm done being pissed off I'm going to reflect and see What did I learn from this failure This fuck up or this no Or this rejection Now I'm going to move forward with a new plan Give yourself a container The biggest mistake is that people are upset forever Or they hold on to it Or they hold resentment That's like drinking poison Hoping the other person dies If you hold resentment towards somebody else It's only hurting you You got to let go And you got to move on So take your moment The upset Then be like Okay, I'm done This is my container I'm over the container And now I'm moving forward Looking at what I learned And how am I going to turn this no into a yes 100% Talk to me about your journey into PR And leading up to what you guys are doing for people My whole that metal show Portion of my life ended It ended with a big bang In one week's time The guy that I thought I was going to marry Broke up with me kicked me out of the apartment Because he was cheating on me with one of our friends And my show got canceled And so I went from living in this multi-million dollar apartment On the upper west side to living in a tiny little bedroom With a window that faced a brick wall With six other actors in an apartment I was staring out at that brick wall And I'm like one day I will know why this happened And that's all I could say I decided in that moment that I wanted to be an entrepreneur I wanted to build a business I didn't want to wait for somebody to pick me anymore I wanted to choose myself I was really into fitness I was really in the light like healthy living And I knew I'd work out as an actress Like as a performer I was really good at that And I always wanted to train people So I was like being a trainer is a great gig Because I can still act And I could like make my own schedules Kind of like being an entrepreneur So that was the first business that I decided to build And I needed to rebrand myself Because everybody knew me as this heavy metal chick I was that's who I was I had to do a lot of rebranding And a lot of repositioning And a lot of changing the narrative I didn't really know anything about business or marketing But I knew a hell of a lot about PR I had a lot of relationships I had a lot of people that I knew That knew a lot about that So I started getting featured in the media As a fitness girl Telling the story about how I went from Being on that metal show to now Helping people transform their bodies in their lives And I started getting on TV for it I started getting into publications for it I started amplifying and leveraging all of that media To tell a different story I started learning how to do that Kind of by just doing it And implementing it myself And then I met my now husband Chris He was doing these events for entrepreneurs That connected them to the media And I'm like this is cool He was teaching them how to pitch themselves How to get themselves into the media I saw something very cool when I looked at this vision I was like you're doing events I'm really good on stage I haven't been on stage in a long time I know how to teach people how to do this A lot of these people that he was teaching How to get in the media They had a lot of mindset issues They had a lack of confidence Fear and posture syndrome And I had a lot of tips On how to be more confident And how to get over rejection And how to have perseverance How to be persistent So we came together And we're like let's build super connector media And let's do PR differently Let's lead with the mindset piece Let's teach people how to be more confident Let's teach people how to share their message They're a real version of who they are Because I spent a long time just sharing the fake version of who I was Let's make this a show We started producing these events That connected entrepreneurs to the media I'm fair advantage live in New York City We teach thought leaders, entrepreneurs, business owners, authors, speakers How to build profitable brands Not just by leveraging PR But by leveraging social media All types of media, podcasts YouTube And being visible and omnipresent You know that you learned your skill And you honed your craft And then you re-deconstructed and engineered it into a business And doing it for others You couldn't be more right about who owns the relationships And having relationships with media And the way that you guys framed that It's so important for people I love how you're training people To build the relationships and do it For themselves on some level But also just building those true connections One to one We noticed that our mastermind members And the people that we were teaching Were actually getting better results Because they weren't renting the relationships They weren't renting the information They owned the information And they owned the relationships And they knew how to do it themselves And that is real equity In your cell phone and your company When you know how to pitch And you have the people in your rolodex to pitch too Now you've got the power And so these people that were helping Own that power They own that equity They own that knowledge And they're getting unbelievable results And we're like, you know what? This is what we're passionate about Not only are they getting amazing results But they're also transforming their lives And lives with their families And their mindsets and their confidence levels We're like, what if we took all of our energy And we took it away from the agency And we put it into our events And our trainings And our teachings And our masterminds And we sold the agency That was actually taking a very profitable arm of our company And getting rid of it And many people would say Don't fix what it's not broken Like leave it alone It's, you know, running And we're like, this doesn't fill our cup It doesn't make us happy I like it It's tough But I respect the hell out of it Talk to me about where we're making it up with you, Jim Where can we find all the deeds And everything that's important I get involved with everything you got going on Just go to my Instagram Everything's there on my link tree You can find everything You can find my podcast You can find my website You can find how you can work with super-connector media At Jen underscore Gottlieb Search for Jen Gottlieb, you'll find all the highlight clips from today Plus the full episode You don't have to find me at Ryan Alford And all the platforms We'll see you next time This has been right about now with Ryan Alford A Radcast Network production Visit RyanisRight.com for full audio And video versions of the show Or to inquire about sponsorship opportunities Thanks for listening